• For Love's Sake

Q7) How to change spousal's attitude about parenting roles?

(The full question is: My husband has the traditional mindset that females should be the primary caregiver and has not been involved as a parent. How to change his attitude?)


I am not sure if you can change his attitude but you certainly can have conversations with him where you express honestly how you felt about the roles distribution at home.  Overall, society is gradually shifting towards more egalitarian approach to parenting. At least there is a greater awareness on the importance of paternal involvement as fathering movement actively encourage shared parenting.  More and more workshops on the role of fathers and father-child bonding activities are organised at schools too.  Perhaps that is another great avenue to help your husband be more involved.


This answer is written by Edwin Choy, the co-founder of Centre for Fathering. He has been married for 33 years to Lay Koon and is a father of 4 children from 21-29. Edwin’s work involves preparing couples for marriage, counselling, giving talks and conducting workshops on marriage enrichment, parenting, fathering, work-life balance and solution focused programmes for the work place. He also appeared numerous times on radio and conferences to speak to thousands on fathering and parenting issues in Singapore.

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